topazera: Aiba Masaki with his hands pressed to his lips in extreme excitement (嵐: SHOOOOOOO)
Okay, at this point lj REALLY feels like a diary to me because I can’t imagine there are people still here to read it but [livejournal.com profile] phrenk and I are doing another post-exchange for motivation! She makes sure to reel me into one at least once a year, bless her. ♥♥♥ This is mostly going to be about my current Big Fandom Upheaval because that just happened and was a drastic shift for me:

☀ I’m into a new fandom and it SAVED me. I’m currently tumbling a lot about Skam, a Norwegian show that I’m going to assume you got hit with gifs of at some point. It’s a really wonderful show, it’s basically a ~dream show for me? It’s soft and gay and emotionally hard-hitting and artistically rich and basically was the most nuanced breakdown of internalized homophobia I’ve ever seen, as well as a great portrayal of [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]. The best first love story for a gay teen? A better show that I had even thought to hope for? Given me characters I care about more deeply than I have in years? I know love and its name is Skam Season Three. (There's also a really awesome girl squad that's a big focus of s1 & s2, it's just that s3 and the soft cuddling boys is what hooked me.)


Pictured: Why I started watching this show

☀ I say it SAVED me because it came along at just the right time to help break me free from One Direction. Which I really needed. Basically, being in that fandom had reached the point of daily suffering but it was hard to leave when my dash there was so fast moving and as much I do love JE, there’s just not enough fandom content to possibly replace the community I’d lose. Then comes along Skam, beautiful beautiful Skam that so many people are excited about, sweeping in to provide this rush of flailing as the fandom exploded from mid-November to mid-December. Which lined up p e r f e c t l y to my suffering reaching intolerable levels in early December. I basically had one day where I noped out and even though I still check back a couple times a week, I’m mentally free from the cycle now?? It feels soooooo good. I don’t think I can even tell you how good unless you know what it’s like to live as a larrie. It would almost be easier if my opinion had changed but it really hasn't, it's just the situation got too sad for me to watch anymore. :(

☀ Which also has the bonus of freeing up more mental energy to follow Arashi and Eito again?? I've been upping my dosage of Arashi and it's been doing me good. :) Like, I know I feel better about the world when I have them in my day yet somehow I still forget how much they cheer me up? They cheer me up a lot, I've been mainlining Arashi concerts in particular?? That's, like, the most pure concentrated happiness I can use to wash through me~ I really want to get back into watching the parts of old shows I haven't seen still again?? I think it's been enough years. I think it's time to stop saving them. :D And I'd totally fallen off the Eito wagon for a long time but now I'm getting back to them and I love them so~ I came back to an excellent Yasu hair era and what more could I want.

☀ Speaking of, today the Skam fandom had another nice surprise for me: I'm mutuals with someone who I don't talk to directly a lot but we exchange a lot of mutually complimentary tags about how much we like each other's thoughts and meta. She's really far more excited about my meta than I think it deserves!! Anyway, I struck up a chat with her today and it was going well, she was apologizing if she messed up prepositions in English since she's not a native speaker and tired and happened to bring up Japanese. And I was like "oh, I saw you tag in Japanese once and meant to say I was super excited??". Which led to:

her: i pretend i only care about cool skam meta but actually i like terrible japanese boybands
me: ...wait... do we know each other from Japanese boyband fandom and I just didn't realize it???
her: ajaksdjsd do you like them too :DD
me: hahaha YES!!!
her: wtfffff
i cannot believe you're into johnnys bc you seem so sensible???? is this conversation even real???
me: hahahahahahaha
I'm laughing SO much that I seem too sensible for Johnny's
I should take a picture of my DVD shelf right now :D
this IS so surreal though!!

She's a fellow Arashian who recently got into Kanjani8??? Also a longtime fan??? We had to stop each other at several points to say how surreal this felt. I mean, everyone on tumblr is into kpop! I would have never expected to randomly bump into a fellow Johnny's fan in a completely different fandom! Though actually I was telling her that one the people who translated Skam s3 as it aired (that she probably would know of) is an Arashian ("stormboxx" but you wouldn't necessarily assume it was that storm) so we're up to a count of three now. :D

☀ Also a pleasant surprise, my Skam sideblog might become my most followed blog after only a couple of months? It's not a big number for tumblr but it's a big number for me, especially since it's only been two months since I was shocked to get an anon because I thought only a few friends who followed me over there ever read what I was saying. It's nice because the thing I miss most from being a larrie is being a ~pillar of the community~ there. So even though follower counts aren't something I'm hung up on (I literally block it so I can't see it, I don't like being stressed by watching people unfollow), it's nice to feel like my blog is serving a purpose for people. My one true pride is that I tag everything by individual clip so it's very organized at least. :)

☀ It's funny there too because I follow a lot of larries-within-the-Skam-fandom and I have never seen a group of people so averse to drama, after what we've been through. Even worthwhile ~discourse within this fandom we're like "nope, see ya, I am literally just here for me, I'm sorry but no."

☀ My poor Arashi/personal blog @topazera is really suffering right now though. It's almost pure depressing politics at the moment. Probably like a lot of people, I can't figure out the best way to engage? It does motivate me to try and make a difference, seeing the community engagement on tumblr, but I haven't yet figured out how to strike a good balance. I need to remember to post other content, it's just sad to look at that blog now because all my fun stuff is over on my Skam sideblog.

☀ I'm on SUCH a TV drought though, since all I want to do is rewatch Skam. Let's see, I'm really only currently watching: The Flash (catching up after falling behind), Emerald City (featuring the Most Beautiful Face Ever Maybe, in Dorothy Gale) and my ongoing The OC rewatch with Val?? I reallyyyyy need to figure out what to start~

☀ Um, I feel like I should be unloading about my personal life but... that's not nearly as fun... maybe I'll save that for the next time Val needs further motivation to post and wants to do an exchange. Okay, a little preview is: my brother is currently really not doing well and living with him is hard because he's running on such a low calorie diet that it messes him up to even smell food? Which is obviously a problem when I like to use the kitchen to cook. But I just am so used to accommodating his needs that even though this isn't reasonable, I'm still letting it mess me up. I'll go way too long without eating and then be too tired to cook, trying not to step on his toes. I have a really low appetite anyway so the last thing I need is to be pushing off eating when I do happen to get hungry.

See, not nearly so fun~ Okaaaay, lj, see you for more content about fandoms you don't care about and depressing real life fun facts soon! :D

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