I want to start a fire in your heart tonight.

Okay, I agree to switch posts with Val and this time, I thought I'd post a few pictures from my new living situation! Only took a little less than three months to post pictures of my arrival so by the time I move out, I should have my apartment pictures up. 😉

To start, driving into the Columbia River Gorge was breathtaking itself, only having visited the Pacific Northwest once before (and um, briefly and ten years ago)!



( Read more... )

I need to try and remember to take more pictures in my every day life, lol. Give you an impression of what it's like to be on the bus and the giant backpack I use to ferry home my groceries, that would be the most honest representation. 😉

I'm going to try and do a part two post of what my room looks like now that it's decorated. I mean, soon, not wait until next December. 💗

So, I am still mid-everything but since dear Val wanted to trade posts, a quick update from me here:

I'm moving!! It's a big move for me in a lot of ways: my childhood home of twenty years is the one being sold, this is the first time I need to go through alllll my stuff and throw things away (instead of keeping every item I have ever touched since 1994…), going into a much smaller space, moving across the country, moving into an unconventional floating home, it being a really weird sale even for that weird thing… it's a LOT.

CURRENTLY: we have our moving trailer to load for two more days and our dumpster for three and then our closing on Friday so I'm just trying to focus on getting out of this house… even though it feels kind of terrifyingly like our deal for our new house could a) fall through at the last minute and b) might be a bad decision so I almost wish it would fall through so there would be a redo.

COPING METHODS: a ration of flourless chocolate cake, rewatching Outlander and first season BSG, GnA (for the first time?? amazing)

Hopefully I will come back and update this in a few weeks with a picture of me in my new home saying how it all worked out somehow????? Let's just put that image out into the universe, shall we.

Okay, at this point lj REALLY feels like a diary to me because I can’t imagine there are people still here to read it but phrenk and I are doing another post-exchange for motivation! She makes sure to reel me into one at least once a year, bless her. ♥♥♥ This is mostly going to be about my current Big Fandom Upheaval because that just happened and was a drastic shift for me:

☀ I’m into a new fandom and it SAVED me. I’m currently tumbling a lot about Skam, a Norwegian show that I’m going to assume you got hit with gifs of at some point. It’s a really wonderful show, it’s basically a ~dream show for me? It’s soft and gay and emotionally hard-hitting and artistically rich and basically was the most nuanced breakdown of internalized homophobia I’ve ever seen, as well as a great portrayal of [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]. The best first love story for a gay teen? A better show that I had even thought to hope for? Given me characters I care about more deeply than I have in years? I know love and its name is Skam Season Three. (There's also a really awesome girl squad that's a big focus of s1 & s2, it's just that s3 and the soft cuddling boys is what hooked me.)


Pictured: Why I started watching this show

☀ I say it SAVED me because it came along at just the right time to help break me free from One Direction. Which I really needed. Basically, being in that fandom had reached the point of daily suffering but it was hard to leave when my dash there was so fast moving and as much I do love JE, there’s just not enough fandom content to possibly replace the community I’d lose. Then comes along Skam, beautiful beautiful Skam that so many people are excited about, sweeping in to provide this rush of flailing as the fandom exploded from mid-November to mid-December. Which lined up p e r f e c t l y to my suffering reaching intolerable levels in early December. I basically had one day where I noped out and even though I still check back a couple times a week, I’m mentally free from the cycle now?? It feels soooooo good. I don’t think I can even tell you how good unless you know what it’s like to live as a larrie. It would almost be easier if my opinion had changed but it really hasn't, it's just the situation got too sad for me to watch anymore. :(

☀ Which also has the bonus of freeing up more mental energy to follow Arashi and Eito again?? I've been upping my dosage of Arashi and it's been doing me good. :) Like, I know I feel better about the world when I have them in my day yet somehow I still forget how much they cheer me up? They cheer me up a lot, I've been mainlining Arashi concerts in particular?? That's, like, the most pure concentrated happiness I can use to wash through me~ I really want to get back into watching the parts of old shows I haven't seen still again?? I think it's been enough years. I think it's time to stop saving them. :D And I'd totally fallen off the Eito wagon for a long time but now I'm getting back to them and I love them so~ I came back to an excellent Yasu hair era and what more could I want.

☀ Speaking of, today the Skam fandom had another nice surprise for me: I'm mutuals with someone who I don't talk to directly a lot but we exchange a lot of mutually complimentary tags about how much we like each other's thoughts and meta. She's really far more excited about my meta than I think it deserves!! Anyway, I struck up a chat with her today and it was going well, she was apologizing if she messed up prepositions in English since she's not a native speaker and tired and happened to bring up Japanese. And I was like "oh, I saw you tag in Japanese once and meant to say I was super excited??". Which led to:

her: i pretend i only care about cool skam meta but actually i like terrible japanese boybands
me: ...wait... do we know each other from Japanese boyband fandom and I just didn't realize it???
her: ajaksdjsd do you like them too :DD
me: hahaha YES!!!
her: wtfffff
i cannot believe you're into johnnys bc you seem so sensible???? is this conversation even real???
me: hahahahahahaha
I'm laughing SO much that I seem too sensible for Johnny's
I should take a picture of my DVD shelf right now :D
this IS so surreal though!!

She's a fellow Arashian who recently got into Kanjani8??? Also a longtime fan??? We had to stop each other at several points to say how surreal this felt. I mean, everyone on tumblr is into kpop! I would have never expected to randomly bump into a fellow Johnny's fan in a completely different fandom! Though actually I was telling her that one the people who translated Skam s3 as it aired (that she probably would know of) is an Arashian ("stormboxx" but you wouldn't necessarily assume it was that storm) so we're up to a count of three now. :D

☀ Also a pleasant surprise, my Skam sideblog might become my most followed blog after only a couple of months? It's not a big number for tumblr but it's a big number for me, especially since it's only been two months since I was shocked to get an anon because I thought only a few friends who followed me over there ever read what I was saying. It's nice because the thing I miss most from being a larrie is being a ~pillar of the community~ there. So even though follower counts aren't something I'm hung up on (I literally block it so I can't see it, I don't like being stressed by watching people unfollow), it's nice to feel like my blog is serving a purpose for people. My one true pride is that I tag everything by individual clip so it's very organized at least. :)

☀ It's funny there too because I follow a lot of larries-within-the-Skam-fandom and I have never seen a group of people so averse to drama, after what we've been through. Even worthwhile ~discourse within this fandom we're like "nope, see ya, I am literally just here for me, I'm sorry but no."

☀ My poor Arashi/personal blog @topazera is really suffering right now though. It's almost pure depressing politics at the moment. Probably like a lot of people, I can't figure out the best way to engage? It does motivate me to try and make a difference, seeing the community engagement on tumblr, but I haven't yet figured out how to strike a good balance. I need to remember to post other content, it's just sad to look at that blog now because all my fun stuff is over on my Skam sideblog.

☀ I'm on SUCH a TV drought though, since all I want to do is rewatch Skam. Let's see, I'm really only currently watching: The Flash (catching up after falling behind), Emerald City (featuring the Most Beautiful Face Ever Maybe, in Dorothy Gale) and my ongoing The OC rewatch with Val?? I reallyyyyy need to figure out what to start~

☀ Um, I feel like I should be unloading about my personal life but... that's not nearly as fun... maybe I'll save that for the next time Val needs further motivation to post and wants to do an exchange. Okay, a little preview is: my brother is currently really not doing well and living with him is hard because he's running on such a low calorie diet that it messes him up to even smell food? Which is obviously a problem when I like to use the kitchen to cook. But I just am so used to accommodating his needs that even though this isn't reasonable, I'm still letting it mess me up. I'll go way too long without eating and then be too tired to cook, trying not to step on his toes. I have a really low appetite anyway so the last thing I need is to be pushing off eating when I do happen to get hungry.

See, not nearly so fun~ Okaaaay, lj, see you for more content about fandoms you don't care about and depressing real life fun facts soon! :D

So, unfortunately, I haven't kept up with posting every week! What a shame! I really loved posting more frequently. I miss photoshop and lady posts and random screencaps! I've really been far more removed from lj than I'd like. BUT I do have a reason for the drop off as I've had a lot on my mind recently. Including some DEVELOPMENTS--

In chronological order, with some things of lesser importance in here to mix it up a little. Plus, pictures, I always feel like I need visual aids~ XD
( Too much news for your flist to handle! :) )

5) Most importantly but also what I've been nervous to actually talk about and make real, I am going to Japan for the summer. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh~ I've been to Japan once before but that was eleven years ago now! I was in high school and I went along with the Rotary Club who arranged everything for me, so it was really a whole different kind of experience. This time I'm going with my brother, we're aiming for moderately-inexpensive-by-comparison trip by doing a couple homestays and some hostels/dormitories. I KIND OF CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING AND WE LEAVE ON JUNE 13TH alsdkla;dfgl. But it's a good time, neither of us has commitments right now and we might as well do something memorable with the time!

I'm sure at some point I will be really excited but right now, I'm incredibly nervous??Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and have a minor panic attack. XD It's just so much to plan, trying to figure out where we're going to be and how we'll get there! This was a pretty last-minute trip that's mostly being arranged for my brother's sake and I'm just the companion. And planner. XD Plus, I understand more Japanese than I speak and I certainly can't read more than a few kanji so I'm still not sure about how I'll get around in day to day life! I'm especially concerned about transportation, both buying the tickets and figuring out how to get on the right stuff! Buses! I'm not very good at buses even when they are in English! I'm trying to tell myself that I can only take it a day at a time but it's hard not to worry in advance. :)

SO, if anyone on my flist has any Japan experience/will be in the country and wouldn't mind fielding an occasional omg I'm confused question, I'd really, really appreciate it? :D It would be reassuring to have a language-emergency contact. :) I know a couple people with be there, like felixkeep! Though I'm not sure if I'll be in the same place as anyone, I think we'll be spending a lot of time in the Kansai area. WOW, I'M STILL IN DENIAL THAT I'M ACTUALLY GOING. :D Any general travel advice would be much appreciated too! Really, I'm very open to anything. :D

SO YES, TO SUMMARIZE: JAPAN! JUNE 13TH-SEPTEMBER 3RD! I'D BE HAPPY TO MEET UP WITH FANDOM PEOPLE IF WE OVERLAPPED SOMEWHERE! I WOULD EXPLODE WITH JOY IF I COULD GET INTO EITHER THE ARASHI OR EITO EVENTS THIS SUMMER, IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS FOR HOW TO DO THAT WHEN TICKETS ARE AS EXCLUSIVE AS THEY ARE!! AHHHHHHHHH~~~~ :DDDDD

Oh, Beautiful World Tour! You may not actually be a world tour but I'm still feeling the love halfway around the world. ♥♥ So, I thought I'd share the little part of love I contributed to the "Beautiful World": art! Art I made in real life, whaaat! :D I'd actually planned to make a post about this months ago but then I got all self-conscious. phrenk's birthday has given the final push to get this posted! Happy Birthday, Val. :)

So in case it passed you by, there was a notice put up on Johnny's Net: Arashi entreating their fans to send them art, whatever makes up their "beautiful world", for the upcoming tour! When asked "Will you help participate in the concert?", I thought immediately " YES, I really want to do this".

( Overly lengthy making of! )

( ART ART ART ART )

Okay, I know it's been a while since Christmas but since I'm rather slow on the draw: I wanted to do a post on my favorite Christmas "gifts"! Here "gifts" reads as the little things that made my holiday season and includes a lot of televised things. As that's how I roll. :D


Gift #1: The sunrise on Christmas Day, as seen from my bedroom window.
( Behind the cut you will find irl pics, Kouhaku ladies, a pimp of a delightful Lifetime TV movie, V6, Arashi and Eito love! )

Watch out, folks, it's a Hanson post!


OKAY #1: I finally got to go to another show! November 15th! Northampton, MA! And it was awesome. I went with my dad, who legitimately loves Hanson in his own right. He's owned copies of the last three CDs and listens to them all the time in his car. And we had fourth row seats and rocked out and he even went so far as to jump up and down with me. They played the kickass opening medley and Oh Darlin' and CAN'T STOP and five MoN songs and they seriously almost killed me when the last seven songs were super high energy. I had to collapse into a chair and just breathe for like ten minutes afterwards. But it would have been a happy death, especially for twelve-year-old me. During the encore when Tay came over to grabs people's hands, I surged forward and seriously caught his eye as he was about to walk away and he grabbed my hand last. Okay, I know, nowadays we walk right next to them during the walks before all the shows and it's no big deal but twelve-year-old me remembers and is now fulfilled. :DDDD

(And then unrelatedly, I then got to spend the week with phrenk and we watched a ton of JE (DnA's AnA with PEANUT COFFEE, Udauda SP, format switch with MOGURA TEAM and CRYBABY TEAM and COSPLAY FINALLY. And then KAME IN KIMONO, leaping into waterworks and kind of pulling a Tackey (also known as flying all over the venue) and KOKI'S SURPRISE MOTORCYCLE/SHIRT REMOVAL in a solo that began with CLOWNS. And many other !!!! things!)/Kisarazu Cat's Eye/Skins/Life/Capital Scandal and that was just as awesome a part of the trip which is saying a lot. ♥♥)

#2: My 5 of 5 DVDs came in the mail today! For those who remember, that was the series of concerts I went to in May in which they play all five of their albums, one per night. Now since I never finished those posts (posting five days in a week was just too much for me XD) and I'm now watching the DVDs one per day, I thought I'd try this once again! So, HANSON WEEK 2.0! I actually have several Hanson posts I meant to make so I'm going to try to finish them up this week. I'm just working on Hanson time, you guys.

( A few thoughts on Night 1 and the 5 of 5 DVDs so far! )

And now, for the first "thing I made a while ago and have been meaning to post"! Basically, if you ordered the fanciest album package for the last record, the Hansons painted you an original painting to go with it. There were 113 people who did it (myself not one of them really sadly) and so, 113 paintings! (As capped in the video here.)
( Cut for giant graphic! )

And one final thing, I would be really super thankful to anyone who would go play their latest single on Youtube! We Hanson fans have been trying to get the view count up to one million because they promised us a Christmas concert in return! Though we've missed our deadline and the fate of the Christmas show remains undecided (I think they'll do it anyway because they love us but who knows!), any help would be beyond fantastic! (If you want to actually watch it too, it's pretty entertaining if I do say so myself! There is dorky dancing and a Blues Brothers parody and Weird Al playing the tambourine. ♥)

Man, so, I had quite the week last week. It's been a while since I had a week with so many ups and downs. XD Here, I'll catalog them:

Last Weekend: (+) Went to the beach! Sand! Sun! The sound of the ocean as I read!♥
Monday: (-) Spent an hour worrying out of my skull when my dad burst in and said "Your brother crashed his bike, we'll either be back in fifteen minutes or we're at the hospital". Thankfully not as serious as that hour of working had me thinking it would be!
Tuesday: (+) NEW LAPTOP ARRIVED! My first new computer in seven years! Wooo, it can play 700p files without a hiccup instead of crashing when asked to load a page with a gif on it! XD
Wednesday: (-) Ordinary trip to the orthodontist suddenly becomes "So, you have a choice to make: you should get four teeth pulled or all of this will be for nothing and revert after we take the braces off! Call you in two days for your answer, see ya!" D: D: D:
Thursday: (+) Boku no Miteiru Fukei arrives! I promptly fall in love. ♥
Friday: (-) I spend all day in a state of stress, worrying about what to say when my orthodontist calls… he never does. XD BUT ALSO, (+) ARASHI ON MS! Troublemaker never fails to make me feel all is right with the world. ♥

A little further explanation, partially cribbed from my conversations with people. Probably not of much interest to my lovely lj friends except if you have had teeth issues, I would love for other people to chime in!

( A little bit storytelling and a little bit Arashi caps. XD )

Okay, now back to my very important plans for this week: inhaling as much girl pop as possible. XD